Category Archives: Poetry

These Four Walls

July 7, 2011

These Four Walls

These four walls
Have held me up forever
Kept me safe all my life
And even when the colors dimmed
They stood so tall I never wondered
If they’d ever fall

These four walls
When did they start cracking?
How did I miss all the signs?
Now the chipping, the peeling,
The cracking, the holes
Are too far gone to repair

These four walls
Can’t stand on their own now
Can’t keep supporting the ceiling
From crashing down on us all
Their screams fill the air
But I’m too afraid to cover my ears

These four walls
I’m holding them up now
I won’t let them crash on the only life I’ve ever known
There’s nothing else for me to do
Even though I know
One day they’ll smother me

Posted by Gretchen @ My Life is a Notebook in Poetry Tags: afraid, falling, family, forever, four, home, life, poetry, smother, these four walls, walls

The Only Way

June 14, 2011

The Only Way

They say the person who
Laughs the loudest and
Smiles the widest is
The one who is happiest

But don’t they know?

A loud laugh is the only way
To cover the sobs and
A wide smile is the only way
To hold back the tears

Posted by Gretchen @ My Life is a Notebook in Poetry Tags: crying, happy, laugh, loud, poetry, smile, sob, tears, the only way, wide

Void

June 14, 2011

Void

It would be easier to say
I’m tired of feeling such soul-shattering sadness or
Holding in a horrid degree of hate or
Crying acid tears that tear open my flesh to the soul

I wish I could scream
That my heart is being torn apart
By fiery rage or mind numbing fear
But this is not the case

It is harder to admit
That I am being consumed by
The black hole of bleakness
That comes from being unable to feel at all

Posted by Gretchen @ My Life is a Notebook in Poetry Tags: black hole, crying, depression, fear, hate, poetry, sadness, scream, soul, void

Tears That Burn

May 28, 2011

Tears That Burn

My tears   slide
down   my skin
like    paths    of
lava threatening
to burn away the
last of  my mask
but I think them
not   enough   to
touch   the    hard
ice of your heart

Posted by Gretchen @ My Life is a Notebook in Poetry Tags: burn, crying, heart, hurt, ice, lava, poetry, skin, tears

Contradictions

April 28, 2011

Contradictions

I’m afraid of being right

I’m afraid of being wrong

I’m afraid of being quiet

I’m afraid of being loud

I’m afraid of blending in

I’m afraid of sticking out

I’m afraid of speaking my mind

I’m afraid of never being heard

I’m afraid of taking risks

I’m afraid of having regrets

I’m afraid of following my heart

I’m afraid of losing its beat

I’m afraid of finding love

I’m afraid of losing it

I’m afraid of my dreams

I’m afraid of never achieving them

I’m afraid of not being me

I’m afraid I’m a contradiction

Posted by Gretchen @ My Life is a Notebook in Poetry Tags: afraid, contradiction, contradictions, dream, heart, love, me, mind, poetry, risks, worry

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When You’re Not Looking

April 11, 2011

When You’re Not Looking

Love, they say, is an elusive thing
That you can catch
Out of the corner of your eye
But disappears when you turn
But I went after it anyways
Wearing the camouflage
All the other girls wore
Emulating their tactics
Blending in with the group

Days passed
Months perhaps
And I found no glimpse of success
So the other girls
Thickened their paint
And stomped through the underbrush
Hoping to be obvious
To be caught
But me?

I washed of my pretend skin
I turned my back
Later I would say
It was because I learned to love myself
But that was a lie
I wasn’t being strong
I didn’t love being unique
I only laughed so loud
Because I thought no one cared

And then one day
I turned around and gasped
For it’s funny what you find when you’re not looking