Tag Archives: poetry

These Four Walls

by

These Four Walls

These four walls
Have held me up forever
Kept me safe all my life
And even when the colors dimmed
They stood so tall I never wondered
If they’d ever fall

These four walls
When did they start cracking?
How did I miss all the signs?
Now the chipping, the peeling,
The cracking, the holes
Are too far gone to repair

These four walls
Can’t stand on their own now
Can’t keep supporting the ceiling
From crashing down on us all
Their screams fill the air
But I’m too afraid to cover my ears

These four walls
I’m holding them up now
I won’t let them crash on the only life I’ve ever known
There’s nothing else for me to do
Even though I know
One day they’ll smother me

Void

by

Void

It would be easier to say
I’m tired of feeling such soul-shattering sadness or
Holding in a horrid degree of hate or
Crying acid tears that tear open my flesh to the soul

I wish I could scream
That my heart is being torn apart
By fiery rage or mind numbing fear
But this is not the case

It is harder to admit
That I am being consumed by
The black hole of bleakness
That comes from being unable to feel at all

Contradictions

by

Contradictions

I’m afraid of being right

I’m afraid of being wrong

I’m afraid of being quiet

I’m afraid of being loud

I’m afraid of blending in

I’m afraid of sticking out

I’m afraid of speaking my mind

I’m afraid of never being heard

I’m afraid of taking risks

I’m afraid of having regrets

I’m afraid of following my heart

I’m afraid of losing its beat

I’m afraid of finding love

I’m afraid of losing it

I’m afraid of my dreams

I’m afraid of never achieving them

I’m afraid of not being me

I’m afraid I’m a contradiction

When You’re Not Looking

by

When You’re Not Looking

Love, they say, is an elusive thing
That you can catch
Out of the corner of your eye
But disappears when you turn
But I went after it anyways
Wearing the camouflage
All the other girls wore
Emulating their tactics
Blending in with the group

Days passed
Months perhaps
And I found no glimpse of success
So the other girls
Thickened their paint
And stomped through the underbrush
Hoping to be obvious
To be caught
But me?

I washed of my pretend skin
I turned my back
Later I would say
It was because I learned to love myself
But that was a lie
I wasn’t being strong
I didn’t love being unique
I only laughed so loud
Because I thought no one cared

And then one day
I turned around and gasped
For it’s funny what you find when you’re not looking

Moments

by

Moments

In the moment
Words fade
To useless nothings
That have no hope to express
What I feel

In the moment
I faltered
I fell back
I stalled
For my thoughts had abandoned me

In the moment
I had no idea what to say
Or what I wanted
How I felt
Or where it would lead

In a moment
You were gone

In a moment
I knew

Choose to Lose

by

Choose to Lose

Teetering on a knife’s edge
Threatening to fall
Words are all we need
To send us sprawling
To either side

What will you say?
My words hide behind a lock of fear;
Fear of heights and fear of tumbling
Fear of choosing
Fear of losing

We’re here now
There’s no going back
Someone has to speak
I’m frightened it will come to me
But God forbid its left for me to seal it

We’ve gone too far
The choice is the only way
But I’m afraid
For I see loss on either side
So what do we choose to lose?

Make It Stop

by

Make It Stop

I’m so tired
Of burning eyes that hold back tears
Of shaking hands that turn to ice
Of hurting hearts that pound my chest

I’m so tired
Of hearing screaming
Of taking blows
Of holding people as they cry

I’m so tired
Of trying to keep the world together as it falls apart
Of not knowing why it is
Of holding on to something that is already gone

I’m so tired
Of hurt
Of pain
Of tears

Just
Make
It
Stop