A searing and gripping read that explores the depths of desperation true love can inspire, from the author of Being Friends with Boys.
Nikki’s life is far from perfect, but at least she has Dee. Her friends tell her that Dee is no good, but Nikki can’t imagine herself without him. He’s hot, he’s dangerous, he has her initials tattooed over his heart, and she loves him more than anything. There’s nothing Nikki wouldn’t do for Dee. Absolutely nothing.
So when Dee pulls Nikki into a crime—a crime that ends in murder—Nikki tells herself that it’s all for true love. Nothing can break them apart. Not the police. Not the arrest that lands Nikki in jail. Not even the investigators who want her to testify against him.
But what if Dee had motives that Nikki knew nothing about? Nikki’s love for Dee is supposed to be unconditional…but even true love has a limit. And Nikki just might have reached hers.
Thanks to Simon Pulse and Edelweiss for this eARC! This title is now available.
I will be the first person to admit that I’m a fairly easy to please reader in a lot of big ways. Sadly, though I appreciated this book’s brutal honesty and unflinching storytelling, it failed me a couple of big ways.
The book opens up with a phone call. Dee and Nikki wake up to the news that the police want to talk to him about something. He tells her to follow, and she dutifully does. They make up a story on the way there to hide the truth: a cop was killed, Dee killed him, and Nikki drew the getaway car. She had no idea what was going to happen, or even what really happened, but she loves Dee and she wants to protect him. Though scared out of her wits, she goes along with his plan. But when the police start uncovering the lies and come after the people that have helped Nikki through everything Dee was never there for, she starts questioning her choices and realizing that maybe she is really being blinded by love.
To be honest, I hated Nikki from the second the story started. (Maybe it was the gratuitous sexual actions with which the book began and continued throughout the story.*)It is made clear that she’s always taken care of herself, from when her step-dad went to jail to when her mom spaced out on drugs. She pays her own bills, she has a job that she’s very good at, and she even looks after her friend Bird, Bird’s daughter and even her mother. From what is said about her, there is no doubt that Nikki should be able to stand on her own–and has done so on the past. This makes her complete devotion to Dee is ridiculously out of character. As far as I could tell, he had never done anything remotely large enough for her to destroy the self-made life she’d built for herself and made her dependent on him. Even he says he only bought her beer and weed when she asked for it. (Given the ease of which Nikki forgets her drug problem, she wasn’t really dependent on drugs anyways.) Dee is also never a fleshed out character. He wants sex, and he screams at her. That’s all there is to his character. There was just missing something from Nikki, because I never even felt sorry for her.
There is also the matter of the entire action part of this plot being over by the time the book starts. The murder is rehashed, yes, but in flashbacks. Most of it is waiting, whining and crying. (And doing other inmates’ hair in prison.) The amount of self-discovery that Nikki was undergoing was enormous, yes, but since her character never caught me I cared less and less as each paragraph flew by. It was mostly thinking and self-rumination that guided 95% of the book, and I got bored.
Don’t get me wrong, this book was beautifully written and tackled serious subjects with brutal honesty that was impressive. This just isn’t the kind of book that meshes with every kind of reader, and I admit without shame that I am not the reader for which it was intended. I tried, but I could never connect with any of the characters and so the rest of the self-exploration that occurred never felt important to me.
This book is not one for someone looking for a light read (which you can guess straightaway, let’s be honest). It is also not for someone looking for an action packed thriller. This is an examination of the human psyche that takes its strength from the exploration it takes into the human mind. If you’re looking to wax philosophical, check it out. If not, you’ve been warned.
*The act of sex is only described once, but not in the overt language used in a romance novel. However, there are a few description of sexual actions that take place before sex and a few uses of mid-vulgar language.