September 19th – Everything’s Fine

Everything’s Fine

So I’ll give you some grand advice
Say some insightful words
Tell a joke to make you laugh
I want to keep you talking
After all
Something’s wrong with me
And this way
I look like I’m okay
I know how to do it now
You like to get on a roll
This way you won’t ask me
How I’m doing
And I’ll never have to tell the truth

Advertisement

August 13th – Wanderer

Wanderer

Wanderer
Do you ever get lonely?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
When your feet ache
Can you stop?
Or do you trudge onward
Into blackness?

Have you family?
Have you friends?
Have you any shoulder to cry on?
If you get lost
Can you call someone?
Do you ever get lost at all?

I beg you
Find my doorstep
I’d sleep on the floor
If you came
For, Wanderer,
I was once you
And I cannot sleep
Until you find your peace

August 2nd – Mediocre

All right, I’m back to spam your blogospheres and inboxs with another handful of poems! 😀

Mediocre

I used to love me
I knew who I was
I had all the confidence
I thought I knew it all
I believed I’d be a superstar someday

I don’t know me anymore
I make promises I can’t keep
I have no faith in myself
I know I know little
I no longer see my name in lights

I suppose that’s what happens when you discover you’re mediocre

August 1st – Secret, Black Heart

I wrote this one after realizing I was using the phrase “secret, black heart” often in my latest poems. It sounded cool, so why not, right?

Secret, Black Heart

What is my secret, black heart?
You know what it is
Don’t be foolish
You don’t know mine
To be sure
But you know your own

Who does not have that certain place
Where jealousy rears its ugly head
Where hate boils over
Where you laugh at pain
Where you imagine causing it
Where insanity is sweet

I know you feel it
Pulsing in your chest
You try to stop it
For it scares you
But, my friend, relax–
It will never go away

Don’t look to hard within it
You’ll see what you’re capable of
Guilt will eat you up from within
Burning through your soul
And, until the end
You’ll be afraid of yourself

July 31st – Thoughtless

This date was also my mom’s birthday–Happy Birthday Mom! (Wish this poem was happier…)

Thoughtless

They say I should be proud
To hold my head up high
To get straight As
And have a job
And understand the world

They say that it’s amazing
All the things that I can do
That I can work
That I can think
That I have a million thoughts in my head

I say that I agree
That I’m proud of who I am
That I wouldn’t change a thing
That I’m okay with being this way
That I find it easy to be

I say to you now
That I am lying
That in my secret, black heart
That sometimes I wish I wasn’t me
That sometimes I wish I was thoughtless

July 29th – Over

Hey guys! You know what, this time the break wasn’t actually totally my fault. I got these really bad viruses in my computer that completely shut me down and my computer was in the shop for days getting wiped. I was pretty much a mess the entire time because my life is my computer! 😀 Yeah, I can admit it. Anyways, hopefully I’ll be able to catch up here…

Over

When did I become the one
Who wanted to see the journey end
Who wanted the whole thing to stop
Who was waiting for that day to come
With my secret, black heart

I love you
You know that
I hurt when you do
But after all this time
Even I couldn’t take this anymore

It had become your life and mine
And everyone who was close
Morning, noon, night, sleep
I never could escape it
And I knew it would hurt you if I screamed

I should have cried when it all ended
Should have hurt as you did
But all I could think of
When the last effort had failed was
Thank everything it’s over

July 16th – Hello Dark Thoughts

Hello depressing poetry! Yeah … more of that to come, too!

Hello Dark Thoughts

Hello Dark Thoughts
What are you doing here?
I thought I told you
To get out
And never come back
You tried to take over once
I kicked you out
Wasn’t that enough of a lesson?

I suppose you’ve realized
How potent my fear of you is
And how heavy of a weapon it is
One skirmish from you
And I’m sweating bullets
Fighting years
Considering surrender
Refusing to admit it all

I like to think that I’ve changed
Since I last saw you
But you know better
You understand that my fears
Are the same, just deeper
And my self-confidence
Is still the same
Shattered mess

I know you’re laughing at me
Because I was so sure
I’d beaten you away
But you creep into my dreams
And chip away at my smiles
Even now
Welcome back, Dark Thoughts
Here we go again

July 9th – It’ll Get Better

Hello again! Yeah, I know, it’s been a few days … oops. I’m TRYING!! 😀 Anyways, I’d just want to let you know that I am trying to get to visiting everyone who was amazing enough to comment on me and if I missed you I’m very sorry. I was literally going through pages of comments! You guys are amazing! Here’s July 9th’s poem:

It’ll Get Better

They always say
It’ll get better
On the days when
You won’t believe it
So you take the words
And tear them up
Into tiny shattered pieces

They always say
It’ll get better
On the days when
You’re convinced it won’t
Because your bleeding heart
Is saying
It’ll only get worse

They always say
It’ll get better
On the days when
The dark is strongest
And you’ve bottomed out
So they know
The only was to go is up

They always say
It’ll get better
On the days when
They see you’ve lost hope
Because they know that you need a reminder
That nothing is horrible forever because
It’ll always get better

July 7th – I Tried

After being such a champion of optimistic poetry, I know I’m being a hypocrite with all this. So, on the 7th, I tried NOT to write something depressing. Sadly, when you’re in a certain mood there is only one thing you CAN write.

I Tried

I tried
To write something
Optimistic
But found the words
Wouldn’t flow

I tried
But what do you
Expect
From someone who’s
Fighting for a smile

I tried
But then I remembered
You screaming
And how
Tears taste

I tried
But I stopped
Because lying to myself
Doesn’t make it all
Go away

July 6th – Why I Write

So … yeah. If you’re looking for optimistic poetry, give it a good scroll down. I haven’t got much lately! This one, despite the title, is no exception to that…

Why I Write

I never really asked myself
Why I write
It seemed a silly question
With a long vibrant answer

But I can’t give that today

Don’t ask my
I won’t answer in voice
But if you wait long enough
I’ll answer in words

Because that’s why I write

I can put a pen to paper
And just as easily put a mask on myself
That character there
That narrator here

They are all me

The one who cries herself to sleep
The one whose got nothing figured out
The one who always thinks they’re alone
The one who wants it all to end

Yes, the screamer is me too

I’m yelling at you, whoever you are
Wanting to be heard
Needing someone, who needn’t respond
To read my work and nod

I want you to understand

With every word, that’s what I’m doing
I’m screaming
I’m pretending
I’m begging

Today, that’s why I write