Black on White–A Magazine and a Forum in One

Hello blogosphere, oh how I have missed you.

I have been so absent because my grandmother passed away. Though she was failing, it came as a shock and I’ve spent most of my time with family. However, I am now back to tell you about an exciting new development by a friend of mine that I wanted to share!

My friend–who shall remain anonymous because she wants to be–has set up an online magazine for all writers who want to showcase their work, called Black on White. But it is NOT just a magazine. It is also a forum, as seen at www.blackonwhitemag.wordpress.com. After each issue is published online, each piece of work goes onto this forum where other readers and writers can comment on the pieces. Consider it an opportunity to get some feedback on work AND get it published at the same time. You’re welcome. 😀

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Left Behind

Left Behind

I stare down the road
Watching the form
of your being
Getting so far away
I reach out a hand
But it doesn’t matter
You can’t see it

Once we walked down the same path
At the same pace
Side by side
When did you leave me?
Why?
Surely this is not my fault
I never wanted this

I’m still walking
Slower now
But there’s no way around it
I’ll letting go
And moving on
Sorry love but
You just fell too far behind me

Crack in the Wall

Crack in the Wall

There is a crack in the wall
See?
In the corner!
Its minute fissures have spread like vines
Wanting to grow
Begging me to water them
Will I?
Once there would have been no question
But now–
Well
Life, my friend, is not an easy game to play
Let alone master
But…
That crack is taunting me
Calling me
Pleading
“One easy smash,” it says
“Will shatter the wall to dust”
“And it will be like it never existed–”
Be silent!
Leave me be
Let me stare in silence
At the light peeking through
Maybe the sun will be a kinder persuader or
Better
It will leave me in peace
For it’s hard to justify the crumbling
Of a wall I built
To keep life out

September 19th – Everything’s Fine

Everything’s Fine

So I’ll give you some grand advice
Say some insightful words
Tell a joke to make you laugh
I want to keep you talking
After all
Something’s wrong with me
And this way
I look like I’m okay
I know how to do it now
You like to get on a roll
This way you won’t ask me
How I’m doing
And I’ll never have to tell the truth

August 16th – Call Me a Coward

Call Me a Coward

Call me a coward
Please
It’s simpler
It’s what I do
When given the chance
I have no faith in me
But that’s okay
It’s safe
It’s good
Call me a coward

Call me a coward
Please
Believe me
Don’t make me do things
That scare me
So what
If you think I can do it
I don’t
I know best
Call me a coward

Call me a coward
Why won’t you
You push me out of my comfort zone
You give me no choice
I do what you say
No matter how frightening
No matter how dangerous
Because I have no options
But I beg you
Call me a coward

Call me a coward
Thank all that you won’t
Now I see
What I can do
THat maybe I can
Do more than I think
And I’ve got some courage
Somewhere deep inside
I’m so glad you could see it
Now call me a coward

I dare you

August 13th – Wanderer

Wanderer

Wanderer
Do you ever get lonely?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
When your feet ache
Can you stop?
Or do you trudge onward
Into blackness?

Have you family?
Have you friends?
Have you any shoulder to cry on?
If you get lost
Can you call someone?
Do you ever get lost at all?

I beg you
Find my doorstep
I’d sleep on the floor
If you came
For, Wanderer,
I was once you
And I cannot sleep
Until you find your peace

August 1st – Secret, Black Heart

I wrote this one after realizing I was using the phrase “secret, black heart” often in my latest poems. It sounded cool, so why not, right?

Secret, Black Heart

What is my secret, black heart?
You know what it is
Don’t be foolish
You don’t know mine
To be sure
But you know your own

Who does not have that certain place
Where jealousy rears its ugly head
Where hate boils over
Where you laugh at pain
Where you imagine causing it
Where insanity is sweet

I know you feel it
Pulsing in your chest
You try to stop it
For it scares you
But, my friend, relax–
It will never go away

Don’t look to hard within it
You’ll see what you’re capable of
Guilt will eat you up from within
Burning through your soul
And, until the end
You’ll be afraid of yourself

July 30th – Mediator, Traitor

Look, the poem that was supposed to be here days ago!

Mediator, Traitor

They call me the Peacekeeper
The friend in the middle
The sibling in the center
Holding up the caution flags
Mediating a truce
They tell me that I’m wonderful
That I’m a true friend
But I don’t feel the same

I don’t want to be the one
Sorting out the facts
I don’t want to be the one
Taking all the blows
I don’t want to be the one
On whom you unload all your crap

I hate to break it to you
But I’m not bulletproof

I love you
I love her
I love him
I love them
But after all this time
Somehow I’ve lost my love of me

You say I play the mediator
But I call myself a traitor
Because I’ve lost my own sense of justice
Trying to appease you all

I tell you I think the same
I tell her I think the same
I tell him I think the same
I tell them I think the same
But what I really think
Has been lost
Because I much too afraid
Of losing
You
Her
Him
Them

They call me Peacekeeper
The one with all the patience
The one who sees it all
But someday I’m going to lose it
And find myself

July 26th – The Nightmare

Don’t you love nightmares? Yeah, me neither…

The Nightmare

I didn’t think
I could have
A nightmare
About you
The thought never
Would have occurred to me
Awake
But last night
You were there
Hating me
Hurting me
Making me cry
I feel sick
Even now
How did this happen?
Why did this dream
Feel so real?
How come I can’t
Shake the feeling
Now that I know it
Supposedly
Wasn’t real?

July 11th – Me and Poetry

This poem is addressed to all of my readers–yeah, you! It’s a fun poem that I wrote on a whim, to be honest. 😀 It also marks me being on schedule again! …yeah, let’s see how long THAT lasts, shall we? 🙂

Me and Poetry

I suppose I should finally let you know
That up until I few months ago
I found poetry to be
Horrible
Useless
Annoying
And I refused to write it

I don’t think I need to tell you
That this opinion has changed
And now I find it
Fun
Relaxing
Therapeutic
And essential to my writing life

I believe, then, I should warn you
I don’t intend to stop
Even if my words are
Muddled
Silly
Confusing–
You’ll just have to deal with it