thought

August 2nd – Mediocre

All right, I’m back to spam your blogospheres and inboxs with another handful of poems! 😀

Mediocre

I used to love me
I knew who I was
I had all the confidence
I thought I knew it all
I believed I’d be a superstar someday

I don’t know me anymore
I make promises I can’t keep
I have no faith in myself
I know I know little
I no longer see my name in lights

I suppose that’s what happens when you discover you’re mediocre

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July 16th – Hello Dark Thoughts

Hello depressing poetry! Yeah … more of that to come, too!

Hello Dark Thoughts

Hello Dark Thoughts
What are you doing here?
I thought I told you
To get out
And never come back
You tried to take over once
I kicked you out
Wasn’t that enough of a lesson?

I suppose you’ve realized
How potent my fear of you is
And how heavy of a weapon it is
One skirmish from you
And I’m sweating bullets
Fighting years
Considering surrender
Refusing to admit it all

I like to think that I’ve changed
Since I last saw you
But you know better
You understand that my fears
Are the same, just deeper
And my self-confidence
Is still the same
Shattered mess

I know you’re laughing at me
Because I was so sure
I’d beaten you away
But you creep into my dreams
And chip away at my smiles
Even now
Welcome back, Dark Thoughts
Here we go again

July 10th – Life in Percentage

What to say before I type up this poem … I don’ t know! I suppose I should just say that, obviously, I was feeling a little better when I wrote this!

Life in Percentage

It occurred to me lately
That life
Is about 90% good
That other 10%
I thought
Was entirely life’s awfullest
Because life
Is not always good

But
My friend
I had a thought
That changed my hypothesis
Life isn’t just good or bad
Black or white
There is still wonder
And mystery

It occurred to me lately
That life
Is about 90% good
But only 8% bad
That other 2%, of course
Is something we sometimes
Forget exists:
The awesome

June 26th – Talent

On this day so long ago, I went to an art museum with my friends and had the thought that appears in the first three lines of this poem. That, obviously, spiraled out into the entire poem and gave me one of the longest poems of the trip!

Talent

I wish I had the talent
To paint pictures
That look like photographs
Or move my body like the wind
And dance with fluid grace

I wish I had the ability
To climb the highest mountains
And celebrate from their peaks
Or win a million awards
For something that comes easily

I don’t

But I have the talent
To paint pictures
With vibrant words
And move my pen like the wind
To write down my dreams

I have the ability
To climb the highest mountains
With my characters
And win a million awards
For them too

All I need to do
Is never give up hope
And remind myself each day
That for each thing I can’t do
There’s something that I can

June 21st – Forgotten

I suppose today’s poem has something to do with my latest short story, which was titled The Forgotten. However, while today’s poem doesn’t start today, I think it’s more upbeat than the first draft of the story! The word “forgotten” was, obviously, rolling around in my head and I got to thinking about everybody is afraid to be forgotten in the end–and today’s poem was born!

Forgotten

I don’t want to be forgotten
My name removed from all minds
My face wiped from all memories
My smile removed from all photographs
I don’t want to be the one
Who people only semi-mourn
Who leaves no mark on the world
Who slips away unnoticed
I don’t want to be the person
Left with a heart still empty
Left with a dream unfulfilled
Left with no hand to hold

I want to be someone
Whose name is on everyone’s lips
Whose face is recognized
Whose smile is glory-filled
I want to be the one
Who no one forgets
Who leaves giant footprints
Who goes out with a bang
I want to be the person
With a heart full to bursting
With a dream achieved
With a loving hand to hold

I refuse to be forgotten

June 16th – My Eyes

I was in a meeting of my Creative Writing Club today, and an idea was sparked as we were talking about the personification of eyes and what they could say. Something started rolling around in my head that turned into today’s poem. What DO eyes say about a person? Do they show the facade people try to place there? Or are they truly windows to the soul that show everything? I haven’t a clue–that’s why it’s a good poem!

My Eyes

What do you see in my eyes?
Strength I hope
And courage
Pride certainly
And life
Maybe you see
Wisdom too
And a slight hint
Of innocence
Mixed with cunning

I hope you don’t
See fear
Or loneliness
Or uncertainty
My insecurities
Should be hiding
Behind everything else
And masking
My worries
And dislikes

Eyes are supposed to be
Windows to the soul
But I hope they are not
For I am far too scared
To bear my soul
Even fully to myself
I know what I feel
Deep inside
And I’m ashamed
To share it with others

So answer truly
Do you see the facade?
Do I always seem happy?
I should appear
Ruffled by nothing
At all times, you see
Not worried or scared
Or about to cry
Never–
What do you see in my eyes?

June 14th – Strangers

Everywhere you go in public places, there are always those people you don’t know standing by themselves. Do you ever wonder if they could be friends to you? Does it ever cross your mind? It certainly hasn’t done so to me recently, and yet that is what today’s poem is about. Rather, the reason none of us ever talk to those people across the room.

Strangers

Hey Stranger
You there
Across the room
If I said hi
Would you respond?
If I asked
To sit next to you
Would you let me?
Or are we cursed to
Stare across the room
Forevermore
Because neither of us
Will take a step
And try to speak
For we are comfortable
As strangers
And it’s frightening
To see
If we would be friends
Or enemies
For I don’t want
To hate you
Even though
I might love you
So I suppose
We must
Stay strangers

June 10th – The Secret

I was watching this TV show earlier, and I got to thinking of secrets and love–and how much you have to love someone to keep their huge secret(s). You always see this great love story about one person who knows another person’s secret and loves them anyway or whatever, but what about the people who share those secrets? If they love the other person, why would they share life or death secrets? There are multiple answers to that question, I know, but this is my response to one way to look at it.

The Secret

You told me a secret
And begged me to keep it
With my life
I said yes
With no fear in my heart
Because I loved you too much
For that
But now your secret
Is rattling
The bars of its cage
And screaming
Inside my mind
So much
That now I have to ask myself
How much I love you
Does my heart hold
Enough strength
To keep your secret
Locked within
Or will my love
Shatter from strain–
No
I love you
My dear
That I know truly
Though your secret’s magnitude
Threatens to kill me
I’ll keep it
But because of it
Too
I’m left to wonder
Not if I love you
But if you love me

June 4th – Dark Thoughts

Hooray for poetry inspired by nightmares! Ok, well, not really, but that’s how today’s poem sort of came about. I actually hesitated putting this up here, but then I remembered that poetry is the best place for speaking emotions. I’ve been told that if you have nothing to say, don’t write! If you do, then you put it down on paper no matter what it is. So here it is!

Dark Thoughts
Hello dark thoughts
I don’t remember
Allowing you to return
To my mind
I would rather you
Did not
Torture shadowed confessions
Of the deep concerns
Of my heart
–
You know dark thoughts
If you were a nightmare
I could shake
Perhaps I’d like you better
But you come to me in waking hours
While I am hoping to dream
Blackening my hopes
With ash and
Igniting them with horrid flame
–
Now I tell you dark thoughts
I want nothing to do with you
You leave me deepest fears alone
You stay out of my heart
Even though I know
You aren’t leaving anytime soon
It makes me feel better to say
Begone dark thoughts
Get out